Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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