You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
