U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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