This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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