had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
