I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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