I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
