you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
