I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
