We won't sleep together?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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