my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
