I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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