sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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