i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
