yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
