the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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