what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
