you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
