I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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