she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found puke in my bra..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
