I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
