You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize