So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
