My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
