Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize