Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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