if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
its liver damage thursday
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
