I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
