hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
