at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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