Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
