Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
