My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
