Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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