i think my tv is drunk
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
