Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
