apparently the secret to your success is patron
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
