is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
