I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize