remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
