I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize