So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize