ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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