I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
