Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
