Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
MIDGETS
????
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
