Your mouth is God's brothel.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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