Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
