This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
