sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
