no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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