..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
