Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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