Don't you send me to vm
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
