wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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