I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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